For Autism “Awareness” Month, I’m telling thirty inspiring short stories about an inspirational autistic person – me! Thrill at my incredible exploits…with autism!
BREAKING NEWS: Reports that an autistic woman threw away an empty juice container after finishing the orange juice it contained have been confirmed, say sources close to the autistic person.
“She definitely threw away that container,” said a local man, who wished to remain anonymous. “I was standing right there when she did it. She opened her hand, and – boom – the container fell right into the trash can.”
“Seeing that was the highlight of my life,” he added. “I mean, now, there’s nothing I can’t do. Maybe I’ll even throw away a juice container myself when I get home.”
“Fat chance,” the man’s wife added.
Critics have said, however, that attributing the disposal of the empty container to the autistic woman may be premature. “She didn’t really throw it,” said autism researcher Tini Mausbrains. “She simply allowed it to fall. If anything, I would say that this was an effect of gravity, not of autism.” Mausbrains cautioned parents not to get “unrealistic hopes” for the container-disposal abilities of their own children.