An autistic woman was spotted eating dinner in her dining room recently, according to a confidential source with a set of binoculars and a house across the street.
“Well, to be honest, like, I don’t know that it was dinner,” said the source. “It could have been breakfast for dinner. Or something else. But it was dinner time and she was definitely eating food.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, she’s about to watch Netflix and scratch her nose,” the source added, hastily returning to his binoculars.
Sources close to the autistic woman say that it is a miracle that she can eat dinner.
“She didn’t eat a single thing until she was five years old,” said a family member who also wished to remain safely anonymous behind a set of binoculars. “Not one thing. I remember her parents took her to all these specialists, trying to figure out why she wouldn’t eat food. And then, one day, she just started eating entire meals. Now she eats dinner, like, three times a week or something. It’s amazing. We’re so proud of her.”
In fact, late eating of dinner is no longer the autistic death sentence it once was, according to a spokesperson at Autism Does Stuff. “Late eating of dinner is no longer the autistic death sentence it once was” said Autism Does Stuff founder Wuzanne Sright. “We used to think that autistics who didn’t eat until they were five would never eat at all. Now we know that eating can start at nearly any age, and that tools like iForks can help encourage the eating of food.”
When asked how many iForks Autism Does Stuff has donated to autistic people in the past year, Ms. Sright burst into mocking laughter before disappearing in a cloud of green smoke.