An autistic woman earned a gummy bear today for doing some pointless repetitive bullshit, according to The Institute for Pointless Repetitive Bullshit (ABA).
“We all knew she had it in her,” said the pointless repetitive bullshit specialist on staff, A. B. Abason. “We just kept asking her, over and over again, ‘touch nose. touch nose. touch nose. And finally she did it.”
“I was really impressed,” said Abbie B. Abaham, a graduate student in pointless repetitive bullshit studies. “I mean, I went into the field of pointless repetitive bullshit because I could think of nothing more fulfilling to do with my life than to repeat the words ‘stand up’ and ‘sit down’ forty hours a week to five-year-olds and then punish them for having the audacity to get bored. But I never imagined I’d see something so inspiring as a grown-ass adult touching her own nose! It really makes you feel like you’re making a difference in the world.”
When asked whether the autistic woman’s performance had inspired her to earn a gummy bear of her own, Abaham promptly sprayed this reporter in the face with vinegar.