Autistic Woman Buys Coffee

An autistic woman was spotted purchasing a coffee at a local coffee shop this week, according to astonished and inspired onlookers.

“We’re so proud of her,” said local barista C. Fay Lattei.  “She walked up to the counter, asked for a tall Americano, and handed me the exact change.  It’s almost as if she was capable of learning from all the times she’s done the exact same thing here before.  I feel truly blessed to have witnessed this inspiring event.”

Autism researchers, however, warn that the fact that the woman used a text app on her iPhone to convey her order to the barista may shed doubt on the veracity of the order.

“Text-generating apps as a method of ‘autistic’ ‘communication’ have been thoroughly debunked,” said autism communication researcher Trason Javers.  “We know for a fact that the autistic person isn’t the one doing the communicating.  They’re being controlled by a so-called ‘facilitator,’ who subtly tells the autistic person what to write.”

When asked how the autistic woman, who appeared in the coffee shop alone, was being controlled, Javers added, “I said the control was subtle.  The merest handwave from across the room can be enough for the average autistic person to produce reams of so-called ‘independent’ food orders.

“That woman probably doesn’t even like coffee,” Javers added, before retreating beneath a local bridge.

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