A local autistic woman recently received several pieces of hate mail in response to her marginally-popular blog. Local law enforcement officials were called in to review the hate mail and have begun a nationwide manhunt.
“We’ve got a few good leads, and we’re working on the case,” said local sheriff’s deputy Thin Blueline. “But we expect this to be a long and difficult search. Until this week, we didn’t even know that normal people who wrote to autistic people even existed. We’re still not sure that what we’re dealing with here isn’t really some sort of bot. If it is a person, though, we have a medal of honor to deliver.”
Researchers at the Normal University Institute for Autism Institutions urge anyone with knowledge of the hate mail’s writers to come forward.
“Please, if you know anything about who may have sent these messages, let the police know immediately,” said a spokesperson for the institute. “We believe that individuals whose extraordinary generosity and goodwill prompts them to send messages to a patient groped by autism possess a unique and unprecedented ability – a sort of concentrated inspiration that may have the power to liberate the entire human race.
“Well…almost all of them, anyway,” the spokesperson said, adding that autistic people, who cannot experience emotions like “inspiration,” are beyond saving.
Hateful comments left on the woman’s blog ranged from feeble attempts at counter-satire that failed to hide the writer’s hurt feelings to screen-filling screeds punctuated only with profanities. Reports that the autistic woman giggled as she clicked “Spam” on each of them could not be confirmed by press time.