Autistic Woman Marries, Does Not Torment Partner

An autistic woman recently married her live-in platonic gal pal in a civil friendship ceremony indicating the two intend to be best buddies forever or at least until the right man shows them what they’ve been missing, according to courthouse records.  But to make matters ever more inspiring, our Channel 7 Catch an Inspiring Person Inspiring You Team has discovered an even greater achievement: the autistic woman’s partner does not feel neglected or tormented in the least by her subpar match.

“Naw, she’s great,” the autistic woman’s strictly roommate said, snuggling up to her autistic partner.  “I mean, yeah, we disagree on stuff sometimes, but everyone does, right?  We always work it out.”

Researchers at the Normal University Department for Behavioral Whinging, however, questioned whether this inspiring tale is really as it seems.

“Don’t get me wrong – it’s fantastic that this normal person has been so generous as to actually live full-time with one of those profound weirdos,” said Department for Behavioral Whinging dean Cassandra Syn-Drome.  “Unfortunately, this so-called ‘honeymoon period’ cannot last.  It’s only a matter of time until the normal person realizes that she cannot make her partner responsible for all her personal happiness.  When that happens, she’ll come begging for some ill-informed therapist to tell her that demanding other people determine her emotional needs via clairvoyance is totally normal and that the reason she’s not blissfully happy 24/7 is because her partner is hopelessly defective.  And when she does, we’ll be waiting.”

When asked whether the non-autistic partner might take a different route to marital bliss, such as by making clear requests and attempting to understand her autistic partner’s point of view, Dr. Syn-Drome burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter before spraying this reporter in the face with vinegar.


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